Free at last

Everyone, this is Nate. I've managed to escape from the clutches of my kidnappers.

I'm trying to get home, but I'm not sure where I am. While being held hostage I met this guy named Moe Green, and he said I was in some place called Leutonia. I did pretty good in school, but I've never heard of a country called Leutonia.

WIsh me luck.

CAN SOMEONE COME AND GET HIM?

Okay, you win. Forget about trading Crosby. We don't care about the Polka Stars that much.

But we really need someone to take Nate Saxon off our hands. We really don't want to harm him, but he keeps demanding that we bring him more chicken wings, and we've already used up all the poultry in our village.

Can someone please come to take Nate Saxon home?

Please?

Sincerely,

The Leutonian Liberation Front

ISN'T ANYONE LISTENING?

Okay, we were under the impression that Nate Saxon had some influence over the life of Sidney Crosby. He certainly blogged about Crosby enough.

We are beginning to think we were wrong.

Even if Nate Saxon has nothing to do with Crosby, we are standing firm to our demand that Crosby be traded to the Polka Stars - the national team of Leutonia - before we release Nate Saxon.

Doesn't anyone care what happens to Nate Saxon?

Sincerely,

The Leutonian Liberation Front

THIS IS NOT A JOKE

It occurs to us that some of you may have assumed that our claim that we have kidnapped Nate Saxon was a joke. Well, never assume. You know what happens when you assume, right? You make an ass out of u and me.

So believe us when we say that we will not release Nate Saxon until Sidney Crosby is traded to the Polka Stars.

Sincerely,

The Leutonian Liberation Front

THESE ARE OUR DEMANDS

This website has been hacked by the Leutonian Liberation Front. We have kidnapped Nate Saxon and will not release him until the Pittsburgh Penguins agree to trade Sidney Crosby to the Leutonian National hockey team, the Polka Stars.

HA HA HA HA HA. Merry Christmas!